My Morning Mug Shot

My morning Mug Shot. 

This is something that's trending on social media.

Random photos of peoples morning coffee mugs. With inspirational quotes about fresh starts, and new days. 

Today's mug is empowering. Don't mess with me. 
But the reality is, I am super down today. 

Parenting is hard. 
Parenting is even harder during a global pandemic. 

It's January. 

January in Canada anyway, can be a depressing, isolating  month, even without social isolation in place. The weather is cold, and grey. Outdoor time is limited. I'm feeling it.  My husband is feeling it. It's affecting my younger kids, and my teenager, and my mom, and my in-laws, and my friends. 

I am not a perfect person. And I am definitely not a perfect parent. Far from it. But I do try. Every single day. I try.
I try to divide my time between three kids, in two very different age groups.  
I try to give my kids back all the things that this pandemic has taken from them. 
I try to make life fun, and cheery. We are still celebrating holidays. We are having family movie nights, and my husband has built a skating rink in our backyard. 
I try to keep our routine as normal as possible. 
I am trying to be a good spouse. 
I am trying to be a good parent. 
I am trying to be a good co parent with my ex-spouse.  
I am trying to be a good daughter, and daughter in law. 
I am trying to be a good friend, virtually of course. 

But this is not easy for any of us. And some of these relationships are strained. Sometimes I lose my cool. Sometimes I am not patient enough, with my kids, as they navigate this pandemic, because I am also navigating this pandemic. 

I am also feeling the effects of isolation. Stress. Pressure. 

We have meltdowns. There have been temper tantrums. There have been arguments and fights.  We have said things we don't mean, when we are overwhelmed. Doors have been slammed. Feelings have been hurt. 
Some days we are too  emotionally exhausted  by dinner, that we order food in. Sometimes we stay in our pajamas. Sometimes we have cereal for dinner.  Sometimes I let them have unlimited screen time. 

If you're hoping for some big revelation at the end of this, you're going to be disappointed. I don't have the answers. I don't know how to fix this, or when this is going to end. Or if this is ever going to end. I don't know if these relationships that are under so much strain will ever recover.


So, I'm taking this day by day. 
And this day sucks. 
This whole week, NO… Month has sucked. 
We miss our life. Our people. Our activities!!!

Today, we will have cereal for dinner. Today, the laundry will be ignored. Today I will scroll social media endlessly, and let my kids be youtube zombies. 

But tomorrow...
Tomorrow we will start fresh, with a new Mug Shot, and some inspirational quotes about fresh starts and new days.

We just have to get to tomorrow.

We can do this.

You can do this.

I can do this.