It takes a village


I have struggled through the last two or three years. I don't have an official diagnosis, but it could be postpartum depression, or postpartum mood disorder, or regular depression. Being a Mom is hard. There are so many factors. And so much is expected of a Mom, especially a stay at home mom.


Feeding our families healthy delicious meals. Keeping a clean house always, Having perfectly behaved kids. Always looking your best, makeup, hair done, trendy mom outfit. Then you need to entertain your kids, either on your own, or my enrolling them in extra curricular activities.  So now you also have to be uber organized. Who has what activity on which day. What snack do they need for that activity, how early do they have to be there, don't forget to pack entertainment for the kids who have to watch. And what if you have two activities for two different kids at the same time. Don't forget to attend PTA meetings, and bake for the school bake sale. Now your in laws are coming for dinner, better hide the laundry pile and scrub the breakfast crusties off the table.


Now let's do all that after just two or three hours of sleep, and with a clingy toddler who won't let you put him down.


Oh no, your forgot to put the muffins you baked for the school bake sale away and the dog ate them. Now you need to bake again. And the oldest just came home from school to let you know he needs a chicken costume for school tomorrow. Your husband just called, he has to work late. While you were busy holding the clingy toddler and re baking the muffins your creative daughter decided to paint her own nails, and now you need to research how to get nail polish out of your carpet. One kid has homework, another has home reading. The littlest one needs a bath. The husband is still not home.


Finally they are all in bed. Finally it's time to relax. But it's not really. Not even close. Now you need to clean up the dinner mess. Throw a load of laundry in. Pick up toys. Set out clothes for tomorrow so you're not searching for socks in the morning. Pack lunches. You still need a shower cause god knows there was no time for that this morning.  Wait, you missed an email. There is an extra hockey practice at 6 am tomorrow.


You finally hit the pillow only to be woken an hour later by someone having a bad dream. Now you're in their bed. You wake up 40 minutes later and go back to your own bed, but you can't fall asleep because someone is snoring. An hour later the little guy is up again and wants to come to your bed. You spend the rest of the night sleeping on the last 12 inches of your mattress, only to wake to that early hockey practice alarm 90 minutes later. Time to do it all again.


Mother hood.


I have three friends who I have been on this incredible journey with. We all met about six years ago when we all signed up for the same Baby and Me group at our local library. There were actually a few more of us in the beginning. But these three ladies and I never seemed to loose contact. Our babies were all born within a month of each other. We had play dates often. Then low and behold, we all had another baby around the same time two years later. Not quite as close as the first bunch, but two spring babies and two fall babies.  Our eight kids saw each other often. And the four of us moms leaned on each other. We offered peer support. Emotional support. Parenting support. We traded off kids when we could to give each other breaks. I don't think I would have made it through the last six years without them. Especially not through the last three. They have been my rocks. Each of us is different. None of us parent quite the same. Our kids all have very different personalities. Some shy, some outgoing, some really creative, some athletic, some clingy. But through everything, we have been there for each other. All in our own ways. We have been exhausted together. We have cried with each other. We have chased each other's kids. We have complained to each other. We have given advice to each other.


Today, we all send our kids to school. Our journey is come to an end. We celebrated with breakfast out. Something we would not have attempted with eight kids in tow. But the journey is not over. Motherhood goes on far far after the last diaper has been changed. Long after they go to school. And even as they grown up and leave the nest. Motherhood continues. And I plan to hold on tight to these ladies for the years to come. Even when our lives change, and we drift apart. When our kids are in different schools, when they don't have any common activities. When we go back to work and have even less time for each other. When the daily texts turn into weekly texts, and the get togethers become further and further apart. When we can't find a day we are all free. When the weeks turn to months and the months turn to years, these are the moms I won't forget. These are the years I learned the most.


This is my tribe. Always.